Though it’s been over a year since I last documented it, life has been no less painful. Perhaps people don’t want to read this on a blog, but for a fair wee while I just wasn’t much psyched on climbing. Worse still for blogging, I’ve been rushed off my feet, attempting the transition from thinker about thinking about thinking to thinker about thinking. This requires a lot of thought in itself. Because we often think in words, and the only medium by which I can typically access the thinking about thinking done by others is written, and because my thinking about thinking about thinking typically needs to be written down (so that a bona fide thinker about thinking can have a think about my thinking about thinking about thinking) the idea of writing my blog (in words) just didn’t seem that appealing. But all this, admittedly on-going, thinking, thinking about thinking, and thinking about thinking about thinking (not to mention my occasional thinking about my supervisor’s thinking about my thinking about thinking about thinking) has left me with some thoughts too dark for an academic essay. And so, I thought I’d start writing them down here again.
Now it’s funny the amount of stick you get for losing motivation for climbing. Not least because, while (post Big-Up productions) it often seems that ‘psyche’ is everywhere, PSYCHE—the dispositional mental state—is nowhere to be found. PSYCHE drove Jonny, Jerry and Ben onto the dole and into some pretty grubby living conditions, whereas ‘psyche’ just seems like an excuse to be lazy in all other aspects of life without even committing oneself to any real commitment to climbing. Some ‘psyched’ people even claim they don’t train! I view this as a contradiction in terms.
I got ‘psyched’ again—if that is the right word—(reason no.2 for restarting my blog) after booking tickets to Spain with some friends/arch nemeses and thinking to myself ‘wouldn’t it be great to utterly and completely burn them off?’:
Perhaps I could burn off Eddie? That would mean a lot to me as I live with him and I’d be able to gloat regularly. Perhaps this is even feasible; I’ve seen that boy train and, although he does do a lot of it, he does it like a complete punter—endless bicycle rides and squats at the gym?!?! Better still he’s been on a losing streak recently—he lost the TCA comp, the Irish Lead thingy, even the Edinburgh University bouldering comp…— his footwork is pretty sketchy and I think he’s getting fat. All this being said, however, Eddie has always been a bit better than me—definitely not unbeatably so, but definitely a bit. He was better than me before I took two months off and now things have probably only gotten worse.
Maybe then it would be best to have a backup, so even if I don’t get the better of Eddie at least I won’t have to feel too bad about myself. What about Alex Barrows? I don’t know him so well but what I do know I have been told on good authority (from Eddie) and he sounds like a complete ponce, who is shit at climbing to boot. Although it is slightly disturbing that he has climbed 8c and flashed 8a+ I figure that if you can’t trust your mates, who can you trust? Just to be safe, however, I’ll put him down as a ‘maybe’.
Hopefully it won’t come to this, but as a last resort I suppose I’ll have to settle for burning Mark ‘the pig’ Tomlinson off. Mark is definitely the worst (and most right wing) climber on the trip and so I ought, on grounds of skill and karma, to be able to burn him off. While on the one hand it’ll therefore mean the least to beat him—he is very weak—I’m not very good when the pressure’s on, he’s probably quite good at my weaknesses (last year to combat this I just took a 40meter rope) and he told me that when he flashes 8a this trip it I’m so fat that it won’t even be worth kicking me in the nuts to celebrate. Thus I hereby call on the entire free world, or at least the entire Guardian readership, to back me in at least crushing Mark into the ground.
We’ll have to see how it goes I suppose.