Monday, December 22, 2008

A Wrikle in Time

It was a dark and stormy night, a little over twenty two years ago, when Dan McManus was born ginger and Welsh. Many have pondered how that cherubic, angel faced baby deteriorated so rapidly into such a salty seadog that as his friend Neil said (several years ago) “looks good for thirty”. It truly is hard to believe that I, of eternal youth, am actually only three months younger than Dan. Why do I look so good for my age whilst Dan already has the face and body of a middle aged man-fish? Some would say that this is because of all the mountain air Dan gets. Or maybe it’s the stress of fourth year and E7’s? I say poppycock. The real reason is down to the amount of sleep we get.
Dan prides himself on only needing 6 hours sleep a night. This I can’t confirm because I get more like 10 and I don’t sleep with him, so for the sake of argument I’ll just have to believe him. Of course there are times when Dan probably sleeps longer but believe me, there are times I’ve slept for a hell of a long time. Like Friday-Saturday when I got too drunk at my girlfriends party and fell asleep at 2am in her bed. I awoke at 1pm feeling terrible with Hannah sleeping on the floor. I got up briefly and ate a sandwich before getting back to bed at about 3 ‘for a nap’ and sleeping through half of my work night out, waking up about 9. I couldn’t face going out with work mates and being around alcohol so I stayed in and went to bed at midnight and slept till 9.30...that’s a lot of sleep! Or today I was meaning to head out bouldering but slept in till midday and then forgot my stuff. Shit. Maybe I do just have sleeping issues? Nah.
Anyway, if we accept these very rough figures for the amount Dan and I sleep as averages, then that means I sleep 4hours more a night than Dan. That might not sound like much but over the course of a year that’s 1,460hours and over 22 years that’s 32,120hours Dan’s been awake that I’ve not. To put this in context there are 8,760 hours in a year so that’s nearly 4 years that Dan has been awake that I’ve been asleep. But if we factor in that my year is actually only 5110hours long (because I’m sleeping the rest), Dan has actually lived 6.29 ‘Sam years’ longer as I don’t think that I could possibly mature in my sleep, at least emotionally because social maturing surely requires social interaction and I don’t generally do that sort of thing when I’m sleeping. However I did allegedly sleep-tell my girlfriend on Saturday morning that I’d give her 8 out of 10 but I don’t remember this and she says she didn’t reply so it hardly counts, does it?
Anyway it’s only 5 Sam days or 4 Dan days till i go to font. The weather hasn’t been so great out there this past autumn but maybe it’ll snow and Ross and I can play authentic ‘Real Thing’ make believe. Bagsy I’m Jerry!

Monday, December 08, 2008

The Palace

We built a board. It’s really good although the easiest way up it is about font 7a. Basically you need to warm up on the fingerboard, do some one arm deadhangs and pull-ups (although Dan obviously doesn’t) before you’re even nearly ready for the intensity of ‘The Palace’. Some of the holds, such as D13 and Dave, are just tiny and the rest are small. Pretty good as boning minging crimps is without a doubt my weakness (aside from flexibility and dynos and...) if I address it there will be a lot of hard boulder problems and sport routes to go at. We’ve been meaning to build it for ages but never got around to it so I’m glad we finally did. Maybe I’m going to become a monster.
It cost about 250quid to make and is pretty big (2.4metres by 3.6metres) so that’s not bad especially if you live with climbers and can split it (wish me luck getting money out of Dan). My non-climbing flatmate Jonny didn’t find out it was going up (in our living room) until it was actually being erected but took the news surprisingly well. Cheers to Rob and Mike and Tom for helping build it.
Anyway watch these beasts training. They're all totally insane.
What the hell?! Quite incredible-
Amazing body tension-
Scotlands finest-
Slightly less serious. Still Waddage-