Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Born Lippy gets sent to hell.... please forgive me.

I turned 21 on Monday; a depressing affair all round, bar the presents. I got a scarf that makes me look the shit and a t-shirt that says Fresh to Death and has a skull and crossbones on it with toxic looking teeth. Isn’t my little sister a sweetie-pie? Anyway I went down the wall that afternoon and didn’t climb very well. BUT better than climbing well I crimped my way up lots of easy problems and my fingers felt fine. Actually my left hand felt tweakier!!! Happy Birthday.
So anyway I haven’t been out for a few weeks mainly due to crappy weather, marginally more work (that said first year’s a doddle) and because I couldn’t be arsed. I don’t know why I feel guilty about this, no one pays me to climb, but rather than getting up early to go to the same old soggy crag I just felt like lying in and training a bit. A lot of climbers seem think this a bit sad but think how many people exercise purely for exercise’s sake who would think going climbing every week was a bit sad and repetitive. Anyway the training’s going great. I feel dead strong. I can do three one-armers and dead-hang the small rung of the campus board with my left hand for about four seconds. ROCK!!!
Anyway today I got the urge so I headed out to Bowden with Robert. Warmed up with huge circuit of just about everything up to v4 and headed over to lippy. Did the top-out twice then due to a combination of awesome conditions, strength and wind speed blowing me into the rock I sent it first try from the start. Yeah... take that! In fact it felt easy. As soon as I caught the crimp with my left rather than shuffling my heel along, like I normally do, I cut loose and realised I could campus the rest static! Feeling confident from my send and the masses of top-outs I’d done that day I decided to try pulp friction which mantles the lip of lippy. Now I’m not very good at mantles... in fact I’m terrible at mantles. My ghetto booty drags my centre of gravity out as I desperately struggle to lift my horrifically inflexible legs high enough, so really I was wasting my time. After a few tries I was almost getting my weight above the crimp then BANG. I was lying on my back with a sore wrist, covered in sandy splinters of rock... I snapped the crimp off. Sorry. I think Lippy will still go... at about v11?? But I think Pulp Friction might be gone for good. Sorry again.
I couldn’t believe it. I was still quite shaky from falling off and as I lay on my back a hurricane picked up and whipped my other boulder mat into the air and blew it miles away across the field. When we arrived I’d pegged that mat down with Sarah’s toothbrush. When I finally caught up with my mat, Sarah’s brush was gone. Its remains have not been recovered but it is presumed dead after drowning in heather. Sorry Sarah. Note for future reference: The other mat was tied to heather with my shoelaces. It never blew away.
The day was taking a turn for the worse particularly when a deluge of biblical proportions erupted. We retreated to the cave. After fondling Sprung for a bit I decided that I wasn’t going to crimp hard until I go to Spain a week Friday, although I feel like I could. Instead I had a play on Malc’s 8a eliminate from stick it and to my surprise did the moves(all two of them) although I was miles away from linking them but I reckon when I start dead hanging with my right it’ll go. Robert sent cave LH (and he says his crowning achievement is leading HVS) and it stopped raining.
So next we went along to the Transformer cave and with a bit of cunning welsh beta I did Transformer LH second try! Well I’ve tried it loads of times before but sporadically and never really getting anywhere. I guess I sent it just in the nick of time as the deluge kicked off again and this time we retreated to the car. So there you have it, my bittersweet tale of a day in the county bouldering.



Thinking about it it’s funny that Born Lippy got destroyed today. I’d never really tried it before i tweaked my finger and now it’s gone. It’s almost as though it only ever existed to keep me occupied while I had a sore finger. When my finger started to feel better I didn’t need it anymore so I just did it and then perhaps the universe in my head destroyed it. I don’t believe in a supernatural force that governs the universe or any god like figure but I can just about believe that nobody else exists (Je pense, donc je suis) and everything is just a figment of my imagination ; even Born Lippy.

8 comments:

Dave Redpath said...

Oh dear, I'll score that one of my project list shall I... Where you heading in Spain?

Roddy Mackenzie said...

Nice one Sam.

Finally, a new problem to go at, Born Lippy without the crimp.

sam clarke said...

that's the spirit roddy! there are couple of little crimps under the roof but it'll definitely be harder.
I'm heading to albaracin Dave. a well respected academic once told me it's like font thirty years ago.

ps.sorry again all you lippy addicts

sam clarke said...

pps. i'll start watching what i eat more carefully

alpinedreamer said...

oh sam.....you bad boy....

Hot Aches said...

Nice one Sam...btw age 21 to 30 goes super fast!

Dave Redpath said...

I thought so :( So is it the crimp in the roof on the first move, or the crimp on the lip trav???

Johnny said...

You were 5 feet to the left of Pulp Friction in order to snap that crimp off. Pulp Friction comes straight out of the roof.