Saturday, July 14, 2007

“If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face- for ever.” (1984) Part 2


The next day was spent resting my finger and watching some damn yanks climbing. They were all there. Dave Graham was trying the Biographie Ext. at 9a+. He was getting pretty close and I’m sure he’d do it if he wouldn’t insist on talking the whole time, even mid-crux. Just spraffing shit in several languages all the time. So much so that from about 3pm onwards (when he started trying his route) the overhanging walls of Ceuse would reverberate with echoes of Dave Graham’s whiny voice. One day Nick, Ben and I made the fatal mistake of catching him up on the walk in. All his ‘friends’ had run away and he trapped us behind him. He then proceeded to talk at us. As I didn’t get much of a word in edgeways, after a highly political rant of his, I got the chance to have a ponder. In conclusion I found that the political spectrum is not a linear thing with right at one end and left at the other but rather a circle where right and left meet at their extremes. I’m still undecided whether he was a bit too far left or a bit too far right for me but he was certainly pretty open with people he’d just met.
That afternoon I watched Chris Sharma doing an 8c+ called No Future. He’d done it before and so the film crews weren’t watching. Pretty impressive but something was wrong. Where were the power shouts? I’m sorry to shatter some people’s illusions but Dosage films are the WWF of climbing. Everything is staged. A definite low point came when Josh Lowell (the film maker) shouted down to Chris “could you do that again without your top on?” Something which is real and which I’ll bet you heard here first is Dani Andrada’s girlfriend running away with Chris Sharma ( sorry if you’re reading this Dani).
For all their flaws those guys are actually quite good ambassadors for the sport at least when compared to B-list celebrities like Shawn Diamond (yeah I’d never heard of him either). Don’t be fooled by his Hollywood good looks which disguise an impenetrable heart of solid ice. He is the most elitist prick in the whole world and he just stares blankly at anyone who tries to talk to him of my standing in the hierarchical grade based stratification that exists at crags like Ceuse. I didn't realise he was famous when I did this so I just thought it was quite funny that he was so unfriendly.
Anyway my finger didn’t get better so, after one and a half days climbing in nine I came home. I don’t reckon it’s too bad, I’ll start climbing again in a few days it’s just ceuse isn’t that much fun when you’re injured. By the time you read this. Nick should have done scary classic Femme Blanche 8a+, Ben’s probably done l’ami de tout le monde and Donald will probably have sent 7b after a year of climbing. On my last day he cruised the 7a Ananda on the cascade which involves some serious power endurance for the grade and certainly would not be my recommendation for a first 7a. Dave will probably/hopefully have realised by now that if he can do a 7c it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s over graded and Iain Pitcairn will hopefully have done away with Arnaud Petit and stolen his women.
Ps. If anyone knows of any routes/blocs with no pockets for the left hand and no crimps for the right let me know.

1 comment:

Constantin said...

I met Ty Landman in Crescioano. He and his gang of English guys weren't too friendly either... Rather arrogant and aloft.
Oh well I guess we were all so mundane doing smaller grades and being form the borders of EU.
As some said:"You can be a modest climber and be a nice guy or you can be champion but full of shit".
Cheers man!